Remember
by moondreamer101
Summary: The confusion of a Queen. One-shot. please R and R!


**DISCLAIMER:**I do not and will not, ever, own Code Geass. Thank you very much.

* * *

_Remember_

_-:-_

'What am I to you, Lelouch?'

You could hear it. All over again.

You guessed you just couldn't make him tell you. It's just not like him to be, anyway.

But what if.. what if he answered something?

'Anything!' your mind shouted. 'Am I just-?'

You laughed to yourself. As much as you want to answer your own question, you just couldn't.

You don't have any answers in you anyway.

Reminiscing the past,the feeling was already overwhelming. Like it all just happen yesterday, all of it. They were just a bunch of terrorists that day, like a moth annoying a flame of an candle, except that, you and your colleagues were not attracted to it. You want something in return.

Freedom.

The forsaken right of Area 11. Of Japan.

Then with a help of fate, came Zero. The founder of the Order of the Black knights.

Your hero.

The resurrector of your brother's, Naoto's, dream.

_Black Knights. Q-1._

Black Rebellion.

Q-1. Your code name in his damn stupid game. The Queen. His most precious pawn.

You laughed bitterly. You couldn't believe he just used you. Just used you.

Nothing else.

You're wondering why.

"Perhaps… because I used him too." There was bitterness in your tone as you said it.

* * *

_Hira hira kaze ni mau_

_  
Kareha no sei de_

_itsumo to chigau_

_  
Komusaaka_

* * *

You thought he was just the same with those other noble Britannians. Uncaring. Someone who doesn't mind those others who get hurt.

Self-centered. Thinking of only themselves, only to avoid the unpleasant entries when you accidentally went to the bad side of your _friends._

But he wasn't.

He was much better than what you have thought of him. Before.

* * *

_kimi to deatta toki ni wa_

_  
Tada midori no TONNERU ga tsuzuite ita_

* * *

You're wondering when you did really met him.

Was it in Ashford? Or was it in Kaminejima?

Releasing a sigh, you grimly looked away, like avoiding to answer the questions. You imagined that-No.

Even though reality hurts so much that you can barely stand it, facing it makes it more worthy of what you might feel later. It just depends on how you accept it.

You can hear C.C. say that.

"Kaminejima…"

The unmasked Zero.

Lelouch.

* * *

_Itsumo kayoinareta basho datta no ni_

_  
Kyou wa hitori ga sabishiku natta_

* * *

You sat there at the foot of the _Guren_. Wanting to feel the flow of adrenaline rush into your veins. Wanting to create justice.

Needing to hear his voice once again.

But you know it's already done. He had gone away.

"He had to make such a world-shaking ending for him: the fall of the Demon Emperor"

How touching.

Standing up, you climbed atop your beloved mech and sat inside your territory. Touching every corner. Every angles. Memorizing it for your beloved Zero. Memorizing it like you want to impress yourself.

A single tear made it out of your azure orbs.

* * *

_Kimi ga tonari ni inai dake de_

_  
Kotto yuku sekai ni_

_  
Kurushiku naru no_

* * *

You couldn't take it anymore.

You jumped out of the _Guren_,as fast as you climbed on it before. Out of the Hangar. Out of the _Ikaruga_.

And into the wide grassy land of Mount Fuji.

Thanking God that no one saw you running like a mad man in the hallways, because you saw them decorating the bridge with Christmas symbols.

You ran and ran until you stopped because you couldn't feel your feet anymore.

Until you came to the place where no one can see you so vulnerable.

Tears flowed down your eye, you knelt down and did something that you always do in the battlefield.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!.... WHY DOES IT HAS TO BE ME? Why?.." you shouted. Letting the words drain what your heart is suffering from right now.

Loneliness.

Wanting to let him hear what you have to say.

You shouted because you want _him_ to hear what _your heart_ wants to say.

You didn't care if your tears flowed down your cheeks aimlessly. You didn't care if the sky turned dark and gray.

* * *

_Motto motto chikaku ni kanjitetai yo_

_  
Kimi no sono tsuyosa made zenbu_

* * *

"Why do you have to lie to me? Am I not your Q-1?" you whispered in the air.

The pain was just too much.

The pain was so unbearable making you numb in the outside that you can't even feel the snowflakes falling from the sky. You wrapped your arms around you as you cried to yourself.

"When had I become so weak?" you whispered like you came out from a trance as you shivered. "Why do you have to leave, Lelouch? Isn't there any other way?"

'_Kallen..'_

* * *

_Sugoku tooku hanarete basho ni ita tte_

_  
Tsunagatte iru kara_

* * *

You gasped.

There was a whisper. You know you heard it.

"Le-Lelouch?" you called out.

'_Kallen, you must live on..'_

Your eyes widened. Your breathing hitched as you tried to process what's happening.

"But,Lelouch..I-I.. I couldn't live without you, I can't.." you close your eyes as you felt something like a hand caressed your cheek.

You could hear the whispered sigh. _'Even though I'm already dead, not here with you, always remember.. that I'm always in your heart, I won't leave you.'_

You smiled. You loved the feeling of him holding you close, just for this moment. Like he was by your side always.

'Please..'

"I love you."

You open your eyes. You can see him giving you a loving gaze from his beautiful violet irises. _' I never meant to hurt you.. remember you're always important to me'_

"I know.. I'll always remember"

Your tears continue to flow down. You can feel it.

He's leaving.

'Please don't..'

"Don't leave" you called as you felt him stood up.

He smiled at you. _'Remember… live on'_

"No! Stop! Stay with me!!" you begged.

He turned his back to you and with a side glance, he muttered something… something that he almost forgot to tell you.

But you couldn't fathom the words. He walked away..

'No.. not again.. Please, come back..'

* * *

_Yasashii sono koe mo _

_watashi wo mitasu Energy_

* * *

'_Remember..'_

"Kallen, what are you doing here?"

You blinked. You knew that voice. Too familiar that it hurts so much. You wiped the tears from your eyes, stood and faced him.

It was Zero.

"I was just.. clearing my mind."

It wasn't a lie.

You saw him inclined his head as if to nod, then brandished out his right hand towards you.

"Come, let us go forth."

'Go forth?' you thought. _'Remember.. live on'_ you heard it again. You remembered what he said. And with a final thought, you smiled and took his hand.

" To the future that we must guide and protect"

'To the future which he had given his life for.. the peace for the future'

And you thought to yourself, that his voice is your source.

Him, in your heart, is your purpose.

He is your energy to live on. Just like what he had wished to you.

_-:-_

* * *

**Notes from the Author.**

_So this is my first time to post a fic here in Code Geass fandom. Please be kind. I know that this is kind of in a in a pretty level of mediocre-ness, but I hope you still liked it. Please do review._

_Thanks for reading._

_p.s._

_The song used in this one-shot is entitled "Energy" and sung by Inoue Marina._

_And that this story is in 2nd person, I hope you didn't mind._


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